Caffeine is not my friend: anxiety triggers and staying on the right path

A bit of a personal post today. 

 So, I had caffeinated coffee for the first time in, oh, about three and a half years yesterday. It was kind of by accident: it was warm out so I asked for an iced coffee at a cafe and simply forgot to mention that I wanted it decaf. By the time I realised my mistake, I felt silly and decided to just get on with it and drink my iced coffee.
 

Now, the reason I stopped drinking coffee in the first place was because it was having too strong of an effect on me. A few years ago, I realised that after drinking coffee, I always felt on-edge, antsy, anxious… It triggered a number of anxiety attacks at that point in my life and as soon as I put two and two together and saw the correlation, I decided to stop and never turned back! 

 Well, I turned back once, 6 months after stopping, and boy was it a bad idea! 

 Anyway, for the past few years, I’ve kept saying that one day, I’d have coffee again – when I’d have a day to waste, in case it didn’t go so well. I kept putting it off, because I didn’t really miss coffee. Tea is better anyway 😉 

 As it turns out, I suppose yesterday was that day! And it wasn’t that bad, considering. I felt the caffeine as soon as it hit my system, like an oncoming rush of…something… a heightening of sensations, a certain loss of control. I had to breathe deeply and talk myself into not freaking out. And I managed not to, although I felt very hyper and slightly agitated for the hours that followed. Finding sleep was particularly hard. 

 The lesson I learned from this? Coffee is not my friend. I’m no longer suffering from anxiety and I can deal with whatever life throws my way, but reintroducing anything in my life that can have such a noticeable effect on my psyche still seems like a stupid thing to do. At least it’s good to know what my triggers are. And I suppose that’s part of managing my health, as well: knowing what’s likely to set me off and staying away from it. 

 I’ll just stick to tea (green and white, mainly), thank you.

2 thoughts on “Caffeine is not my friend: anxiety triggers and staying on the right path

  1. Time For Anxiety says:

    I too think I am past my anxiety to the point where I can reintroduce stimulants into my life, but it is often met with failure. I even find that eating chocolate in excess can give me the jitters like coffee….damn caffeine.

    The only thing I miss is Red Bull. I don’t know why. I never drank a ton of it, but just smelling it makes me want to drink an entire gallon of the stuff. I think it is one of those childhood feelings of wanting something because I know I can’t.

    I guess people like us will have to keep the decaf market alive and well.

    Liked by 1 person

    • thehealthyfrenchie says:

      Haha, I suppose we will! It’s hard to know what works and doesn’t, I guess it’s an individual thing… I’ve got to say, though, although I don’t really eat much, I’m glad chocolate doesn’t have a negative effect on me!

      Liked by 1 person

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